Room 101 Speech (edited)
1. Are you tired of cheesy adverts that make you cringe to the bone? Have you had enough of Barry Scott showing you how to
clean your old pennies? Do you think it’s time to put an end to those irritating slogans constantly throbbing in your brain? If
so, we can all agree that the world would be a better place without them.
Like me, I’m sure that most of you all watch a fair amount of television. But doesn’t it anger you that, just because we choose
to watch a variety of entertaining programmes on ITV and Channel 4, we are victims of tacky advertisements and
catchphrases every ten minutes when it’s time for the commercial break?!
I find it particularly frustrating when watching a film. Imagine: you’re sitting at home watching Titanic on ITV, when Kate
Winslet whispers her last words to Leonardo – ‘I will never let go’, and releases his frozen corpse into the depths of the
Your snivelling becomes sobbing, the tears begin to flow, when suddenly Kerry Katona’s infuriating voice ruins the
atmosphere, making an inappropriate joke about ‘breasts being enlarged’ on the infamous Iceland advert. Grief quickly turns
to anger as you feel compelled to put your fist through the television screen. And when you think it can’t get any worse, she
says in her nauseating accent: ‘that’s why mum’s go to Iceland!’ Surely that’s enough to put anyone off!
But it’s not just Kerry Katona. There are hundreds of these irritating commercials. From Picture Loans and Kandoo, to the
Esure advert – the list goes on!
2. My next subject I intend to condemn is strange or useless Christmas presents. These usually come from distant relatives or
elderly neighbours. If this is the case, the chances are that they don’t know any of your interests – and at some times it shows
more than others!
Every year, without doubt some people manage to surprise me – most notably a well-meaning couple over the road. Last...