The Three Little pigs
By William Shakespeare
Pig 1 Pig 2
Pig 3 Wolf
Scene 1. In the deep dark forest.
Narrator: In time passed, though not long ago, there lived pigs in stature, little in number, three, who being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune did set about to do thusly.
Pig 1: Harken brethren head this impetuous realm! tarry me far from hearth and home I fear we shall fair short not well! I shall make my home from straw and show thee!
Pig 2: Now, now brother you art wrong! I shall make my home out if sticks and we shall see!
Pig 3: Hast not brethren I shall build my home out if bricks and show thee, I'd swear it.
Wolf: Pray thee, little pig, grant me entrance.
Pig 1: Nay it shall NOT be indeed! Not by wit or whiskered jowl?
Wolf: Than steal thyself, little pig! Forth with shall I endeavor employing means both huffing and puffing to dismantle you flaxen fortress!
Narrator: Where upon there issued forth from the wolf an exhale of gale proportions that quickly rendered straw hovel to dregs and dross and carried aloft piglet and shattered courters both.
(Pig 1 enters Pig 2's home)
Pig 2: Well, this knocks my knickers! The marshaling of feral wolf on my doorstep! A thousand pardons!
Pig 1: T’wood seem the beast made from breath has purged me of home and sound judgment alike!
Pig 2: Low and behold! stand we now amid wooded wreckage, tremulous and vulnerable with nay various strategy for ensuing the canine devour in looming in deadly proximity!
Pig 1: Strategy? While it is noble to contemplate tactical particularities, pressed as we are with the time restraint for bidding detailed strategical conversations, I would URGE WE RUN!
Narrator: Whether by their own...